"The mind is powerful... "

“Self Induced Hypnosis? Shucks Whatever IT was IT Worked”

A dear friend of mine had the heartbreak train come through her stop. It’s tough when you have to get over someone and its never easy. It breaks my heart when people close to me are in pain because I usually don’t know what to do to fix it. I’ve learned a trick though that worked miraculously well for me. In my situation, I had over five years of emotional clutter to deal with.

It’s interesting how I thought to do it really. Initially I didn’t even think it would work. My emotions were riding high and turbulent, almost unbearable really. Enough was enough, no more getting led around emotionally. I laid back on my bed and put the covers over my head. With my arms crossed over my chest I breathed slowly. Some people might say I induced self-hypnosis. Who knows, I’m not particularly knowledgeable in that sort of thing. I closed my eyes and further slowed down my breaths and relaxed my body as much as I could. In this state, my mind was focused completely internally. There I imagined a hall. All the walls were white with doors that had labels. As I walked slowly through the hall I brushed my fingers along the wall. It grounded me and added more detail to what my mind was creating. I ignored the doors till I got toward the end of the hall. Facing me was a door like all the others. It was the same in every-way except for the nameplate on it. Without realizing, my hand reached for the name. My fingers traced the grooves as my lips mouthed along. What a strong name… One I thought I would call out for the remainder of my days.

Sighing I straightened to focus on the matter at hand. I opened the door and stepped over the threshold. Inside was as austere as our relationship had been. Rich dark wood floor stretched from the door to large floor-to-ceiling bay windows. The walls and ceiling were white and so were the bookshelves that lined the immediate walls to the right and left of me. Everywhere was filled with things that made up the knick-knacks of our time together. There were books ranging from how to become self-made and wealthy to guidebooks for different cities in the US and abroad. I picked up an ear worn guide emblazoned “The Big Apple”. In the middle was a bookmark on a page about the W bar and Lounge. I smiled wistfully and put the guide back. The walls that weren’t covered in bookshelves had large frames containing pictures and artwork. A small desk by the bay windows held a MacBook Air and pieces of paper were scattered around it. My hands clenched. Surprised I looked down and saw huge black trash bags. It was time to get to work.

It took a long time to clear that room. The large bay windows were my escape and answer. They were windows to other opportunities and brighter paths. With some jiggling around the hinges I was able to open them outward. The four large panels opened wide. There was no ground in that view, just an endless sky and sunlight. The warmth gave me strength. Through those windows I threw everything I gathered. The trash bags seemed to appear at need. Soon the room was cleared. The walls , shelves and desk were empty. My work didn’t end there though. 5 years had built up a lot of dust and dirt. The same way the trash bags had appeared so did a mop and bucket of lightly soapy water. I mopped and scrubbed with a small brush. On my hands and knees I meticulously scoured the ground for any missed spots. I have never cleaned that extensively in my life. When the room was as pristine as I felt was possible, I left. Closing the door, I touched the nameplate once again. This time I pried it off the door. With this final act, my heart was completely at peace. Walking back down the hallway the only other nameplate caught my eye. That room would have to wait for another day…

When I opened my eyes over an hour had passed. I was amazed. However not as amazed as when I realized that I felt absolutely at peace and my mind was light and happy. It was crazy how effective this method was in helping me move on. Instead of a prolonged weepy affair, I was over it in a blink of an eye in comparison to what had been a Five-year entanglement.

Would this work for other people? I’m not sure. However, if nothing else is working… just saying… sips mint tea

Getting Over Romance

I’ve come to the acceptance that I may never love a man the way I would’ve at my fresh-faced early 20s. Then a lack of experience and a doe eyed countenance made me susceptible to too many fantasies. A few years ago I passed through a painful relationship that left me feeling lacking in so many ways. My sense of self seemed to have hid away somewhere deep inside huddled and alone, covered in festering wounds. Never did the thought of warming up again to someone else even seem possible. Then the unexpected happened and I fell and clichéd-ly tripped into a chasm… I wish to put no names to. Though a close and wishful cousin of mines would call it love. All I’m willing to agree to is that I was pulled inexplicably into an emotional roller coaster. In the end, as usual I was left picking up the pieces of a heart I never knew had so much left in it.

Last night as I joined a girlfriend at a mutual friend’s house party, all these thoughts came to me. Our mutual friend, an old college mate of mine, looked at me with overly warm affection in his eyes. Affection that I’d known existed many years ago in Uni but had ignored for strictly academic pursuits. Now a desire to focus on academia was no longer what blocked his attentions. I looked back at him acknowledging his feelings yet sorry for them. Distantly I knew I found him attractive in the age old way women find strong masculine lines and broad shoulders comforting and right. However, once again his timing was wrong. Now there was not even a shard of emotional potential left. I’d thrown even the dust from the broken shards away. In spite of this, I smiled gently and returned his hugs happily. Having no desire for more but genuinely happy to see an old colleague. With light steps I joined my girlfriend on the dance floor and swayed and jived till we were all laughs and brighter thoughts sparkled the darker ones away.