This weekend my Dad saved my sanity.
Sadly I was losing it over a guy of all things. I was completely disappointed in myself. When I’m disappointed in myself I act the accuser, victim and persecutor all at the same time. Not only was I feeling down over the guy I was also chastising myself for even feeling down, then doling out punishments for the same. Least to say my mind and emotions were in chaos and my sanity was quickly leaving. I can’t blame it. I would’ve left too.
This is when my White Knight arrived. My Dad is a quiet force. Steady in his presence, unassuming, yet forceful when he has a point to make. He doesn’t waste time wondering about maybes. Unlike myself that can spend hours if not days on making a decision. It was Sunday, and i was sprawled lackadaisically on my favorite couch. My phone was strategically out of sight. However most of my thoughts were directed at it and its stubbornly dark screen. “Woe is me!” my sighs said. My arms drooped, my body cast as if a willow lay their instead of a woman. So when my Dad came to see me, his obvious concern was not misplaced. He and I don’t have a relationship where i chat with him about my personal issues. Least of all matters of the heart. I remember the first time he said he loved me… It was my first year in college. I almost dropped the phone in confusion. Was that a wrong number?
We have an understanding he and I. No need to voice all sorts of mushiness… it all goes without needing to be said. This Sunday, However I was in such a state that my usual qualms seemed irrelevant. My Dad became my Daddy again. I told him what the big bad guy had done. Keeping to the facts as much as possible. He listened quietly nodding and shaking his head now and then. When i was done, I was spent but relieved that I’d been able to share my problem with someone I knew cared about me. His head was down in thought. Then he looked up, his bifocals hiding his eyes for a moment.
As simple as that. My very direct Dad had cut through all the layers of my story to the main point. The guy was no good for me nor was he deserving of anymore of my time. So i did. delete him.
Thank You Daddy