A friend brought to my attention that I ignored romantic relationships in my last post. Romance to me is now a luxury that I do not have time for. I don’t actively ignore or push it away. At least that’s how I like to see it. My life is full of possibilities. At any moment my future can be taken up by a work that will consume me. This is something I actively look for… to be consumed by what I find to be my life’s work. This instead of love, romance, and lust is significantly weightier to my existence. Here is where my Mother would nudge me and say “And God Dear. He comes first”. Of course God is part and parcel of my willingness to even live. To avoid dwelling in the existential I will try to tackle my friend’s request and answer my thoughts on romantic relationships.
Men, romance, love? Honestly I should be the last person to even comment on this topic. In reality I’m the type that needs to be on the receiving end of this post not the beginning. Men to me are puzzle pieces. I love to figure out what type of piece they are and if they are a shape that can fit in the bigger puzzle that is my life. More likely than otherwise they hardly are ever a fit. I’ve had completely curved pieces that were too simple to fit in the swoops and plunging groves of my personality. Then overbearing jagged ones that aimed to make by force a place for themselves. The worse, are the ones that ALMOST fit. Their shapes fit in almost magically on one side. Seeming to complete a portion of my board. However they make it impossible for the puzzle to be complete because one part of their shape is completely wrong for me and throws off the whole board. In the end, I either change the picture of the puzzle to fit them or stay true to my course and they go.
To love or even like and make it work in a lasting relationship is no joke. Compromise and communication of course is key. On the other hand I don’t believe in compromising who you are and definitely not your future for a man or woman. Then again who knows, there might be a guy out there that could actually have my mugu switch**. Though I highly doubt that, my naive days have long passed. If I were to follow the advice in part one of my post on “Relationships” I would say here “give people chances”. Open your heart to possibilities even for those who seem unlikely to be for you. You never know who could become nourishment and help you flourish. I would love to say all of this and mean it. However… I cant. I don’t believe that to be true when it comes to dating, loving, and sharing your life with someone. This type of relationship is too intimate and powerful to be taken the same way. Here you are IN LOVE not LOVING. If you don’t know the difference then you’re not ready for romance my Dear.
The deeper level of being in love has a destructive power. It CAN do everlasting good or in worse case scenarios – permanent evil. Take care HOW you share yourself. Be careful WHO you choose. CAUTION with this type of relationship is highly advised. I am no longer a chick, stumbling around discovering the world and boys. Nor am I too old to learn more from what life has for me. My advice comes from my early-middle experience. My puzzle board is not yet finished but it has long been started. The boundaries are there and more pieces are coming together filling the gaps quite nicely. I stand in the middle, a space empty but burgeoning with potential, surrounded by what twenty-six years has put together. Some place on this board a masculine piece will fit. Probably in the course of finishing my puzzle I will find that piece. How, where, and when are of no real consequence to me, as long as I am living my life fully one piece at a time.
**make me do foolish things